Or to what it means to dine at a Chili’s. That stare is how I know you’re not really paying attention to me. You have that blank stare when I described the tense, even combative relationship Elvis had with his longtime backing band, the Attractions. You seem to know nothing of the intricacies of his collaborations with legendary songwriter Burt Bacharach. Remember? When you made that joke about finding your Southern Smokehouse Burger just past the french fries on your plate? Remember how I rattled off all the options on our classic “3 for $10” special and you all nodded and said that “sounds good,” even though that means nothing? Remember how “Pump It Up” came on the restaurant sound system and you almost knew the words? Those were good times.īut the simple fact of things is that the course of the evening here at Chili’s has shown me that you aren’t real Elvis Costello fans. How’s that margarita treating you? Everybody good? But when I look at you, I find it difficult to get past the fact that you seem to think 1981’s covers album Almost Blue was a creative misstep rather than a re-framing of American country music in a contemporary setting. Since you walked in this Chili’s around 7pm and the hostess Jenna directed you to my section, even though I’ve been in the weeds since happy hour and that Terry’s section is nearly empty, you’ve been my table. If you can’t get that, I can’t go on being your server at this Chili’s. Just so I’m clear, that distance is your lack of understanding that Armed Forces is not just the highlight of Elvis Costello’s early career, but the highlight of his career, period. We’re growing further apart every moment and we need to talk. Listen, we both know there’s a…distance between us.
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